I Kissed Dating Goodbye is a 1997 book by Joshua Harris. By the late 2010s, Harris reconsidered his view that dating should be avoided, apologizing to those whose christian dating taking it slow were negatively impacted by the book and directing the book’s publisher to discontinue its publication. Harris popularized the concept of “courting” as an alternative to mainstream dating, and in doing so has raised discussion regarding the appropriateness of his proposed solutions as well as the foundations on which he bases his reasoning. In general, Harris believes that dating has become too inwardly focused.
He feels that people date to find “their” mate according to their own principles, rules, and desires. In doing so, he argues, people put up a façade in an attempt to appear to be what the other person wants, and this hampers the “getting to know you” part of dating. On November 20, 2005 Harris gave a message to the church at which he is Senior Pastor, “Courtship, Schmourtship: What Really Matters in Relationships”. In this message, Harris acknowledged problems with how the singles related in his church.
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